Today, it’s probably never been more important to build relationships with people online – and in-person – to find the job you’re looking for.
And it’s about ensuring your social media activity doesn’t scare away potential employers. Or get you fired from a job because of what you posted online. Cybervetting by employers is now the norm.
As a communications coach and former online journalist, I cringe when I see and hear some of the things people post online. Things that wouldn’t make me want to hire that person – and perhaps prompt me to fire that person.
Please join me on May 31, 2021, for a free webinar where we can talk about social media and your job search in a free webinar hosted by IdeaExchange.org. That’s what we used to call Public Library in Cambridge, Ontario.
We’ll talk about how to tell your story and present your personal brand online. How to build it. How to protect it.
We’ll talk about ways of using social media to tell the story about you as the ideal employee to your ideal employer.
And we’ll talk about how to use social media tools like TikTok, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to find jobs that were never advertised — and how to connect with people who can help you find a job.
Please join me for the free webinar starting at 10:30 a.m. so we can share our ideas and talk about telling your story to help you find the job you want.
Please use the form below to contact Kevin Swayze, so he can put his business storytelling experience to work helping you find, shape and share your message with impact.
Contact Kevin by email or contact him by mobile phone: 226-924-4237.
If you want to be a better public speaker, start by listening.
Effective speech writing is all about knowing who you are talking to, and giving them what they want – or need – to hear.
It’s a hard lesson for me to learn – especially when there’s a police officer in plain clothes staring you down.
One day, somewhere back in mid-2002, I was asked to speak at a lunchtime Rotary club meeting about journalism and the news business. Easy enough, I thought. At that point, I just received my 20-year pin serving the trenches at the Cambridge Reporter newspaper. I was the newly appointed editor and feeling pretty good about myself.
Great stories are good, but
With all those years a reporter, photographer and editor, I knew I had great stories.
I cobbled together a speech about how I approached the news business, how I made a living asking questions. How I found stories. How I shaped those stories for my audience. And, of course, What was the weirdest thing I ever wrote about?
(It was a guy who brought a potato into the newsroom one day, looking for a story. The spud looked exactly like former U.S. President Richard Nixon’s face and head. Seriously. Photo and story for the front page, please).
Anyway, my speech went well enough. I told few more stories while neglecting to delve deeply into why one story gets published and another doesn’t.
I had my speech all written down – and kept reading from it behind the podium. No point-form notes to I could keep my eyes on the audience. I droned on for 10 minutes. I didn’t vary down my tempo and use inflection to emphasize important points.
I didn’t think through who was in the audience. Who might put their hand up in the question and answer session?
I broke a basic rule of journalism: be prepared.
Rotarians? What could go wrong? All I had to do was call the organizer and ask who the club members are. Or more accurately, remind me who was likely to be in the audience. I knew most of them from writing stories about what they’ve done in town over the years.
Local business leaders who have learned how to ask good questions, because their livelihood depends on good information. The crowd gathered in the Galt Country Club meeting room was also salted with other community leaders, people who also knew how to ask good questions. After all, nobody builds credibility for their personal brand by talking all the time.
None of that was in my mind as set myself up as the target in the question-and-answer session. I started to recognize the faces as they asked me about stories I had covered, softball questions about why the media does what it does and why I like my job. (Answer: I love asking questions).
Then she stood up and greeted me politely. I wished I remembered she was a one-time homicide investigator and was now commander of the local police detachment. Super friendly. With a detective’s mindset. I didn’t see it coming.
“I’ve heard there’s a Code of Ethics for Journalists – so why didn’t you talk about that in your speech. What do you say to people who don’t think journalists have any ethics?”
Answer obvious questions
I wasn’t ready for an obvious question. I stammered and wobbled at the podium, before making a half-hearted explanation. It was ugly.
I wasn’t ready with a story to tell a personal story around the never-ending public discourse of ethics in journalism. Something everyone seems to have an opinion on. Something that’s been simmering for centuries, long before people started accusing the media of creating “Fake News.”
I learned. Always remember: audience first is the smart way to approach speech writing.
Listen to what they say — and imagine what they are likely to ask.
My thoughts and responses want to bubble up. I want to be heard. After all, it’s all about me. That’s what social media and celebrity worship teaches me to be successful. Right?
I remember both my grandmothers telling me that I’ve got two ears and one mouth. So listen twice as much as I speak.
I believe listening is about building people up. I succeed when others succeed.
Easy to say, hard to do. I find it takes practice and self-awareness. It is worth the effort.
Set a goal to have a conversation with someone. Pick a place where there are no interruptions.
Turn off your phone. Put it away out of sight.
Offer your complete attention. At a business meeting. Backyard barbecue. Over a coffee.
Make sure to get your head in the game. Use active listening skills. Forget having to “be right” about everything – or anything. You’re listening. Not lecturing.
Perhaps start by talking first, then let go. Ask about what they think about something in the news? Ask them what made them happy today? How are things going?
Let them know you want to hear what they say. Prove it by your actions.
Talk about what they want to talk about, not what you want to talk about.
Be ready with open-ended questions. What’s next? How did that happen? Wow! What can you do about that?
Be wary of making it an interrogation. Especially if someone starts to open up about personal, private worries.
Never interrupt. Instead, empathize. Don’t criticize.
Mirror your partner’s body language. Keep eye contact when they’re talking – listen with your eyes.
To keep someone talking – especially in a conversation that’s leaning toward an argument – try echoing what they say. Show you understand. That you want to hear more. And aren’t telling them what to do.
“This is so frustrating and upsetting,” you might hear.
“You’re frustrated and upset,” you might reply.
“Yes — it is so frustrating but I think I can…” you might hear as the conversation continues.
You listened. Your conversational partner is empowered. I suggest you’ll be remembered.
Silence is golden
My favourite conversational tactic is silence. I often frame it with a gentle nod. Sometimes I purse my lips a little as I lean a little closer.
Silence during an interview was one of my go-to tactics as a newspaper reporter for 30 years. Ask an awkward, open-ended question. The other person answers. Then I don’t immediately ask another question.
Let conversational anxiety nudge your partner to respond and fill the silence. Golden.
Try slipping a little silence into your next a friendly conversation — or carefully into a disagreement.
It’s a tool to be used with tact in a full-blown family fight. I don’t advise glaring at your spouse with your mouth closed during an argument. Based on personal experience, that’s not a communication tactic likely to produce an amenable response.
Now, after all that talk about listening to build up other people, I have a confession.
I like a good conversation because it usually builds me up just as much as my conversational partner. And in truth, it’s a way to build my network of people. Perhaps advance my career. Boost my ego.
To be, dare I say, admired as someone who listens. Someone who is remembered.
Beyond that, I am convinced listening trains me to better control and enjoy my life.
It’s confidence practice. Exercising my inner virtues.
I can’t control what people say. I can only control my response.
Here’s something amazing. I’ve noticed that sometimes after I’ve listened to someone
I changed my mind. Yes, it really happens. I realized I was wrong. Or at least not right.
So, I encourage daily exercise of conversational skills by keeping quiet. Training for self-confidence. So you’re remembered.
Keeping quiet allows you to be heard.
What tactics do you use to enable and sustain great conversations?